A Moment of Reflection
Today marks the first day of summer.
A season has shifted and now we enter the next three months of heat and humidity. Summer isn’t my favorite season, but there are so many things I do love about it like the longer days, the balmy evenings, and the bright colors. Summer is also the season of my birth and yesterday marked one week away from a new year for me and a big one at that. As tradition, I will share my letter to my new year on my birthday, but for now I’m reflective.
You know, I was supposed to be born on June 20th, but I was pretty cozy in that womb, so I came a week later. I never thought much of it until now. So many moments in my life came a little later than most. I often felt behind the trend curve. Being behind---getting things later, taught me to appreciate and be grateful for what I do have in the moment. With that said, next Thursday, I will enter my last year of my twenties. It doesn’t feel real. Honestly so much of the last few months hasn’t felt real. It has been so full, exciting, overwhelming, and hope-filled. In six days, I will enter a new chapter, full of unchartered waters and blank pages.
I’m excited. I’m nervous. I’m pensive. The last 8 years of my twenties have been a journey as any part of life.
The first half was spent finishing up college and moving across the country. In those four years, I found voice. I found myself---language for who I am at my core. I cut my hair the shortest it’s ever been. I prayed for God to remove anything I was placing my security in that wasn’t Him and I journeyed. Those four years were some of the most vulnerable, most painful, most hopeful, most wild I’ve lived thus far. I discovered the things that make me come alive like writing fiction, unpacking literature and film, Jesus, community, Hollywood, coffee, making coffee---the list goes on. I also discovered fears and lies I believed like never being the first choice and fear of rejection and of man.
Mid-twenties came, which really are only like one year (25-26). In that 25th year, I found myself dreaming again---making plans after what felt like a long time of just “going with the flow”. I chose to turn up the heat on a friendship and to quit my job to pursue writing. I edited books, I took courses, I chose love, over and over again. I found my heart friends---the women who see me and choose me. I rekindled friendships of old finding strength and comfort in them. I maintained friendships that transcend distance and time.
I still faced fears. So many things were unearthed, my fear of heartache, my fear of missing the mark or the point. I also leaned more deeply into the history that God and I built. More time was spent listening to His heart over the things unfolding in my life. I discovered hard truths about myself and continue to do so.
Now, we are here. In the late twenties with the last year of it quickly loading. In the last two-ish years, I have found that contentment is the anthem of my days; living out that tension of contentment and gratitude yet constantly pursuing growth and dreams. I found the power of gratitude in the valley. I found beauty in the slow spaces. I traveled and let myself be bit by that bug. I learned the beauty of being present and slow in another country. I connected with family. I celebrated A LOT.
Next week I enter the last year of it all before a whole new decade begins. This 29th year holds so much. It carries a holy weight to it. There are SO many huge things unfolding from choosing and committing to an insanely beautiful new journey in a few months to advocating for myself and my voice. In six days, a whole new chapter will begin. I’m excited about it.
I currently have nothing wild plan. My cousin suggested doing 29 things that I love. That inspired me to write out 29 things I love to do and experience. It also gave me permission to spend the next year pursuing and doing each of those things as much as possible.
So there. My thoughts today on this breezy, balmy, first day of Summer. As a season has shifted, I’m in the middle of a big one shifting. I can feel my heart preparing to grieve (in a good sense), to feel, to unload so many things. Nothing negative. Nothing bad. All good things. A lot is changing in huge ways, and more than ever, I am so conscious of being aware of myself, of my space---my world. I don’t want to miss a single moment.