Guest Post: Dreaming Again
This month, we've been diving into the dream journey. We started out the month getting an understanding of dreams and why the matter, then got into the practical steps to going after our dreams. Well, this month, I knew I wanted to have someone share their own personal journey with dreams, specifically dreaming again. Today, Krystal Jackson of Thequeenkrys, shares her journey to dreaming again. It is beautiful. Honest and full of gold nuggets. So lean in, get cozy, breathe deep, and discover how to dream again.
We all have our own ways of interpreting and living out our dreams. Some of us see our dreams as goals, while others see our dreams as fantasies. I believe that dreams are goals waiting to be unlocked by the dreamer. The dreams that we dream, are visions of the reality that is meant for us.
I used to consider myself to be one of the most radical dreamers of all time, I used to think that in my dreaming there wouldn't be a process to get to them and I thought that the process would look how I wanted it to look. For clarity's sake, no, I'm not talking about the process where you get impatient because, "I should be fully living my dream by now, it's taking a year instead of a week...". No, not that. It was actually a process that looked like major challenges and setbacks that made me really wonder, 'do my dreams still matter to me?' which eventually became, 'What are my dreams? Do I have any?'.
On January 14, 2015, my life took a drastic turn. My mother, the closest woman to my heart and life, my best friend and covering died. When my mommy died, a part of me, (from the moment I realized it was real) died as well. My happiness died, my energy died, my contentment died... my dreams died. Before I knew it, it was like I had lost a grip on my own life. Prior to this happening, I was convinced that there was NOTHING in this world that could kill my dreams. I mean, people used to schedule meetings with me to discuss dreams, how to execute dreams, letting go of fear, dreaming with God, ALL THAT. Then there I was, dreamless, because death had killed my dreams. For about a year and a half I neglected every dream I had, because my life didn't feel like I was thriving-- but fighting for survival.
Dreams were no longer a priority for me, it all felt meaningless. I spent day after day trying to rationalize my life and my reality, because while I was processing the loss/transition of my mother, I was also processing a boat load of other things that were beginning to all surface in one season, I couldn't see anything else. It felt like there was no one that spoke life into 'what still can be', after the mourning, after the depression, and after the grieving. I definitely felt as if I had no capacity to do so, for myself. For my whole life (even when I didn't feel like dreaming), I was accustomed to living under the guidance and covering of a woman who was a dreamer. My mom used to activate me and push me to dream and stretch myself, while giving me tools to pursue the dreams that I desired.
What I didn't realize was that, my dream life was dependent on what my mom saw and believed with me (like most mama's girls). Interesting enough, I didn't realize how much my dream life had the foundation of my mother’s words and affirmation at its core. I had a need for someone else to tell me that I was capable of achieving the dreams that I had. I was more capable of motivating and pushing others to dream and fight for their dreams, than I was fighting for my own. I believed, but to the extent that I felt championed by someone that I reverenced and loved. Thing is, my mom didn't even want that for me. My mom wanted me to believe in me because God birthed those dreams. Those dreams were God given, all I had to do was take my steps. So, I began a journey of discovering what that looked like, for me. I had to learn and I'm STILL learning how to believe in myself on a daily basis. Believe in your dreams enough, to not need approval. When you have those, who can rally around you and celebrate the dreams that you have for your life, value and honor it, but don't make approval your reason to dream.
My eyes were opened one day, when I picked up my journal after a while of not picking it up, this time to read it instead of writing in it. I read the dreams that I had for the month, or for the year, and with a pen in hand I was able to check off things that I had actually done! Things that were once a dream, I did! And I didn't just do them, I did them forgetting that there was a time in my life where they were a dream for me. Which made me begin to discover the new dreams that I had for myself. This time, I made my dreams goals by putting a date on when I wanted to see it happen.
I believe that a clear sign that you're on the path to dreaming powerfully, is that you know, 'this dream is impossible without God's divine intervention'. I'm talking about things that you CANNOT imagine doing by your own strength or might. Challenge yourself, even with the way you dream! Dream as if you only have ONE life--as if time is on your side. Dream as if failure is nothing but a false reality. Dream as if, you KNOW God will make it happen. Dream as if nothing is impossible. Dream as if every minute is an opportunity. Dream as if you believe in yourself.
Dream new dreams, then accomplish them. Remember old dreams, then accomplish them. Believe In yourself and go after it. Whatever it is, wherever it is! There is hope for you and the dreams that you set out to see.
Dare to dream!